Well, what’s in store for me in February 2012? Following last month’s theme, I’ll use the same method to calculate my month card. Looks like this month’s card is 13 - Death! Oh my. [Illustrated by Goddess Tarot.]

So, year and month for February 2012: XI Justice and XIII Death.
I’m in for a well-deserved transformation this month. Bring it!

And my reading for February; one card for each week.

Week 1: XI Justice
In combination with 7 Cups from my final January week, Justice is interesting. Looks like I’ll need to make choices carefully.

Week 2: Page of Swords
This week I’ll need to remember not to be too reckless, but take stock of my surroundings before plunging forward.

Week 3: Knight of Cups
Ooh, will I finally be getting a better handle on my emotions? This week will be a good time to sort my feelings.

Week 4: Page of Wands
Passion, courage, and creativity will be at the forefront this week.

Week 5: IX The Hermit
And after all the growth and healing, some self reflection. Maybe this time it’ll stick. ;)

I love that 2012 is starting on a Sunday. It’s like a brand new, fresh start, right from the beginning. I’m going to do my usual monthly reading, but slightly differently. I want to take it one step further and look at my 2012 Year Card and my personal month card for January 2012.

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To calculate your year card, just add up your birth month + birth date + the year in question, so that you get a base number. Then add the digits of the base number together, until you reach a number under 22 (which corresponds to the Major Arcana). My birthday is September 24, so my year card for 2012 will be calculated as follows.

9 + 24 + 2012 = 2045 and then 2 + 0 + 4 + 5 = 11

So my 2012 Year Card is Justice.

To calculate your personal month card, add your birth month, birth date, current month, and current year, and reduce down to a number under 22.

9 + 24 + 1 + 2012 = 2046 … … 2 + 0 + 4 + 6 = 12

So my personal card for January 2012 is The Hanged Man.

I’ve already got two cards telling me about the upcoming month, even if the year card goes much beyond January. A year of Justice means I’ll be reaping from my previous years. Learning balance, learning how to receive (accept) the justice that may be due to me. A month of The Hanged Man tells me I’m in for a lot of surrender. Just let go, hang in there, and accept. This card, coupled with Justice, feels rather ominous. I also find this hilariously coincidental to some of the important cards derived by my birth name. ;D

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I also want my monthly readings to better encompass all of the time within the month. I’ll do one card for each week, even if the entire week overlaps with another month. During those weeks, cards drawn for both months will apply (hope that makes sense).

My five card reading for January 2012, continuing with Joie de Vivre.

Week 1: Nine of Cups
Happiness! Enjoying the richness of life that surrounds me. And hopefully a deeper solidification of the lesson I’ve been learning: enjoy your life! Bask in the happy, lovely things that surround you and stop dwelling on the negative. “The manifestation of true happiness begins with the mind.”

Week 2: The Tower
Release! Here is my chance to put thoughts and plans into action. Things might go wrong, but it’s here that I get an opportunity to be free and remember that I don’t have to let the bad things drag me down with them.

Week 3: Six of Coins
Sharing! I love this card. Every time I see it, it just makes me giddy inside. One of my favorite things is sharing goodies, and things that create happiness, with others. This week provides me with a chance to do just that.

Week 4: King of Cups
Healing! When I first looked at the card, I immediately thought “actualization” and felt a sense of calm relief. I’ve been learning how to find joy again, and I’ve been learning how to relax — the King of Cups tells me that the lessons are finally sinking in! Now is the time to hug that healing close to me and cherish it.

Week 5: Seven of Cups
Too many choices! I say, this week I will need to remember not to become distracted. Just because opportunities arise, doesn’t mean they need to be acted upon.

So many cups this month! Looking at all of the cards together, it really does look like The Hanged Man belongs there too. Looming over me all month long. Reminding me to surrender. And each week card promises me that things will be much better if I do surrender and just experience things with more joie de vivre. ;)

There’s so much to do with name cards - I didn’t even know! The numbering techniques used to determine my Destiny & Inner Thoughts, Outer Persona, and Destiny cards go even deeper. I was then able to use the values to look at each card within each of my names (first, middle, last), and used them to find cards that correspond to the whole of each of my names (first, middle, last). Again, I decided to do this with all three names I have used in my lifetime. There is, indeed, some repetition here.

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First - the name I was given at birth.

My First Name (Conscious Self) - The Chariot
Ambitious - high achiever. Striving for balance, self control, yet ultimately - triumph. Courageous, moving confidently toward goals.

My Middle Name (Hidden Self) - The Lovers
Full of love to give. Wanting to love and to be loved. *wistful sigh*

My Last Name (Social Self) - Wheel of Fortune
Rolling with the ups and downs of the given situation. Sigh, so, so true.

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Next, the name I went by for the past ten years. Curious that I dropped The Lovers and took on The Devil!

My First Name (Conscious Self) - The Chariot
Ambitious - high achiever. Striving for balance, self control, yet ultimately - triumph. Courageous, moving confidently toward goals.

My Middle Name (Hidden Self) - Wheel of Fortune
Rolling with the ups and downs of the given situation. Sigh, so, so true.

My Last Name (Social Self) - The Devil
Self-indulgence. Co-dependency. Restrictions. Ugh. So much of that. So much. Of that. (One can see why I wanted to be rid of it!)

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And finally, the name I’ve now taken and will use for the rest of my life.

My First Name (Conscious Self) - The Chariot
Ambitious - high achiever. Striving for balance, self control, yet ultimately - triumph. Courageous, moving confidently toward goals.

My Middle Name (Hidden Self) - The Lovers
Full of love to give. Wanting to love and to be loved. *wistful sigh*

My Last Name (Social Self) - The Emperor
Control, security, leadership, intellectual endeavors. You have NO IDEA how much this card befits the name. I knew I’d taken on a strong new surname!

I can’t tell you how much I am enjoying Who Are You in the Tarot? - if you don’t have this book yet, I highly recommend it. Tonight I’ve been learning about my name cards. The systems are too much to explain in a blog (and just one more reason you should buy the book!), and I don’t plan to share my full (real) name on here, so this might be rather cryptic.

First I did this with the full name I was given at birth.

My Desires and Inner Motivation Card - Justice
(All the vowels in your name, converted to numbers, added up and reduced to a Major Arcana value.)
How fitting, that! Being a Libra, my life is all about balance, justice, and rightness. This card rings so true that I don’t even have to analyze it any further than this. What do I seek? Balance and justice.

My Outer Persona Card - The Hanged Man
(All the vowels in your name, converted to numbers, added up and reduced to a Major Arcana value.)
Hmmm, interesting. It is true that I give in a lot, or rather I just “surrender” and let others do as they will. It’s just easier that way. Easier to keep the peace (Libra, you know). 

My Destiny Card - Temperance
(All the vowels and consonants together, added up and reduced to a Major Arcana value.)
Again, I see more balancing here. I’ve always felt a special kinship to Temperance, because it seems like my ideal. Peace, balance, moderation.

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Since I was married before (as discussed in my Ten Years post) I had a different name. When I divorced, I decided to keep that name because I had established myself with that name in my professional world, and didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that I’d just gotten divorced. I still have mixed feelings about that choice, but nonetheless, for the past ten years I’d had that name, so it seems fitting to calculate my name cards using that name.

My Desires and Inner Motivation Card - The Lovers
Ha! Well, certainly, for the past ten years all I have wanted is to love and be loved. I was so utterly dedicated to my ex-husband that it nearly killed me. And I’ve finally found true, deep love with Darling.

My Outer Persona Card - Strength
Strength. Hooooly crap, this is so right on. I can’t tell you from how many people, and in how many situations, I’ve been told about how strong I am (even if I don’t feel like I am). Very interesting.

My Destiny Card - The Heirophant
A stickler for the damn rules, eh? Well, okay, yeah.

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Since I have recently gotten married, my name has changed, and thus — my destiny is also changing! The name is still so new to me that I feel as if I’m still easing into it. I’m finally changing over all of my accounts and everything to this new name, at which point it will finally be official. The change is so welcome, but at the same time it feels very strange. I think, because I know this is the name I will have for the rest of my life. I’m anxious to see these name cards.

My Desires and Inner Motivation Card - Strength
I mean! Wow. So my desires and inner motivation correspond exactly with my personality and soul cards. This is both amazing and (again) not surprising.

My Outer Persona Card - The Moon
Ah, a woman of mystery. Well, I’m fine with that.

My Destiny Card - Strength
And you’re telling me that my destiny is the very same thing as my desires and inner motivation? This is just… unbelievable! 

I finally got my own copy of Who Are You in the Tarot? and it has been wonderful! While I’ve known my soul card (Strength) for a while, this book takes it much deeper and shows me my entire “constellation” within the tarot. I find it both frustrating and typical that my personality and soul card would be the same, and also that they would land on a number whose card is debated. While 8 could be either Strength or Justice, I decided to stick with Strength. Partly because this is how I have always known my card, but also because the book goes with the assumption that 8 = Strength.

Personality Card: 8 - Strength
The Personality Card indicates personality characteristics that you develop easily and lessons that you learn early in your life as they seem to resonate with your essential nature

Soul Card: 8 - Strength
The Soul Card shows your soul purpose: those qualities in yourself that you must express and use in order to feel fulfilled in whatever you do

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Hidden Factor / Teacher Card: 17 - The Star
Mine is a nighttime card, making it slightly dark.

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Lessons and Opportunities Cards: The 8s of the Minor Arcana
“These cards define the kinds of situations in which you are most likely to encounter your blocks and challenges, as well as your personal gifts and opportunities. Through the experiences indicated by these cards, you learn the lessons necessary to develop your personality and the opportunities most likely to express your soul purpose.”

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Zodiacal Lesson and Opportunity Card: Two of Swords
reveals my “fundamental, natural response to the basic challenges of life”

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While so much of this information is dead-on, I’ve decided not to write up / re-write interpretations of the cards here. The book tells me so much, and as I read about each card, I know that it is true. So deeply true that it brings me to tears.

Inspired again by the princess and the sea, I’ve decided to do a few quick personal readings. Since this past year has been so weird and different for me, I’m feeling as if I don’t know myself as well as I should right now. I hope that the Cards can help enlighten me.

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1. How am I different? - Two of Pentacles
2. How do I conform? - Death

Er, really? Okay, so I’m different in that I need to balance everything all the time. I think about things too much, weighing every possible option. Yeah, well. So I conform with Death? What kind of sense does that make? I feel the need to change myself based on what’s happening around me? Well, that’s kind of lame. Hrm. [Illustrated with Winged Spirit tarot.]

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Moving on, I’ll do the Know Thyself spread (it is advised to only do this spread once every 8 weeks).

1. Who am I? - The Star
2. What do I need? - Seven of Wands
3. How will I get it? - Strength

Haha! I was expecting Strength to show up as card 1, since it’s *my* card. First time I’ve been called the Star, though! It’s a reassuring feeling, though, because I do try to focus on trust, tranquility, and renewal. So apparently what I need is some competition. Hilariously, I drew this with Joie de Vivre, and instantly recognized that what I need is some prodding! Naturally, I get most things I need with that damn Strength card. I’ve got to use my gentle compassion and wait patiently to be prodded into action, eh? Well, if you insist! ;) [Illustrated with Durer tarot.]

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One last quickie, thanks to the Aeclectic Tarot forums.

1. Who have I been? - The Heirophant
2. Who am I? - Ten of Cups
3. Who am I becoming? - Justice

Well, in the past I certainly have been a Heirophant in a number of ways. I was a devoted Christian as a child/teen. As I grew older, my devotion turned more toward a high regard for following rules (not necessarily religious ones). You have no idea how much I was giggling at the Ten of Cups! Right now, my life is so Ten of Cups it’s unbelievable! I think the tarot just needs to keep reminding me of that so I’ll stop being so sullen. And when I flipped that Justice card over… my year card for 2012 is Justice. I couldn’t be happier. Balance is what I seek, forever and ever. [Illustrated with Llewelyn tarot.]

Ten years ago today, I was on the brink of something huge. I was about to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. I was planning to elope on the day after Christmas and leave behind everything I knew, for the guy I was in love with. My family was crushing me with their rules and not listening to what I wanted. I wanted to escape.

It is only just now that I’ve realized it’s been ten years. So much has happened* in those ten years, and as I sit here clinging to the life I have at this moment, I can’t believe I’ve stumbled across this spread.

To be honest, I’m really quite terrified to even think about myself and my life from ten years ago. I’m not sure what I hope to glean from this spread, but perhaps some additional wisdom would have improved the course of those next ten years. Hmm.

If you could travel back in time 10 years ago and have a 5 minute conversation with yourself what would you say? [For this one, I used Wildwood.]

1. Do not do this. The Forest Lovers (The Lovers)
“Do not elope! Forget the romantic plans, because they’re not worth it.”

2. Do this. Ace of Bows - Spark of Life (A/W)
“Focus on all of the creative energies in your life right now. Go back and finish your art degree - it WILL be worth it!”

3. Change this. Ten of Stones - Home (10/P)
“Pay attention to the issues within your family. Don’t cause more problems; work on fixing the ones that already exist. Don’t create rifts - forge tighter bonds.”

Well, shit. Sounds like amazing advice. I wonder if I would have listened to this advice back then, though. My solace, however, is that through everything that happened during those ten years, I was brought right to the spot where I sit now. And it is very good. I might never have met Darling if I hadn’t gone through all the bad years. For him, for this, it was all worth it.

*I abandoned my education, sunk into a deep depression, divorced, bad things, etc. It is only in the past 3 years that I have pulled myself out and blossomed into a fulfilling life.