Today I was reminded, with a renewed vigor and desire, of a possible future I had once pursued. The situation is that I have made connections for a potential business venture with a colleague. We’ve got a lot of ideas and a lot of possible plans, but for some reason we can’t ever get anything concrete going. At this point I am frustrated by her distance, thus I’m doubting my abilities and potential for this to work, even though it’s something I really want. There are parts of the situation that are confusing and frustrating for me, and I wanted to get some clarification. This is really the first time I’ve read for myself using the Celtic Cross spread. Here goes! (Illustrated with Fenestra.)
1. The Situation - Knight of Swords
I’m ambitious, ready to go, pushing forward. “What are we waiting for?!”
2. The Challenge - Eight of Cups
I’m holding onto my current life too tightly. I’m seeking my own independence, yet gripping tightly onto Darling, and yet not wanting to pull him away from things he may want. Sigh, pretty much.
3. The Past Current - Knight of Pentacles
Plenty of success in my career and intellectual endeavors. Feeling good about my achievements, capabilities, and potential to succeed.
4. The Future Current - Knight of Cups
A maturation of relationships, but still not completely comfortable. Heading toward ideals and dreams. (Well, this sounds promising.)
5. Resources - Page of Cups
I’ve got plenty of inspiration! My heart aches every time I think of plans for this future. I am all in, loyal and willing.
6. Aim - Four of Pentacles
The beginnings of success. Something concrete, that I can devote my life and my energy to. (Yes, the goal is to etch a place for myself in the world, and build myself a solid foundation, a home where I can live and work and love and grow old.)
7. How I See Myself - Two of Swords
Having trouble making up my mind. Feeling caught between two possible roads and not knowing which one to take. Feeling indecisive (hah, so typical of me).
8. How Others See Me - Eight of Pentacles
Settling into my own, as far as my career. Hard working, and beginning to reap success from all that I’ve put into my work.
9. Concerns (Hopes/Fears) - Six of Cups
Dwelling in the past? Am I afraid that I’ll regret it if I choose this path? Or am I afraid that I’m CURRENTLY dwelling in the past, and that this path isn’t even open to me anymore? Hmm…
10. Outcome - Five of Swords
Well. So the likely outcome is that I’ll face challenges and frustration? Defeat? After all the encouraging cards in this spread, I just can’t understand this outcome. Really disappointing. I feel even more lost than before. Really?
Lately, I’ve not been myself. I’ve gotten bogged down in a murk of anxiety and stress that is affecting my mind, my spirit, and most prominently, my body. People have started telling me that I seem flustered, or that I seem stressed out, or some other similar observation. Suddenly, today, it occurred to me that perhaps I’d been approaching this situation from the wrong angle. I need to ask the Tarot the right questions if I want to get the best answers!
I signed up for The Tarot Lady’s ezine today, and almost immediately received a welcome message with a gift inside. Within were some messages from Theresa, as well as several other tarot readers. One of them suggested a place to begin that sounded perfect to me. The suggestion was to start with a 3-card spread, then pull additional cards for each additional action to take, in the order they should be taken. This sounded perfect to me, so I used her spread.
I’ve got my best deck (Wildwood), I’ve got the perfect spread, and I finally have the right question. I’m ready to do this!
What question did I ask? How can I center myself, spiritually and physically, in order to shed all of this stress?
1. The cocoon I’m emerging from: Seven of Arrows - Insecurity (7/S)
Ouch. Insecurity. Right off the bat, I see that I’m coming from a place where I’ve got a lot of wounds. And if I want to be totally honest with myself, many of these wounds have been self inflicted. Wildwood basically agrees with my assessment. I see myself all over this card, and it hurts, but I’m glad to see that it is what I am emerging from, not moving toward.
2. The place I sit right at this moment: 17 The Pole Star (The Star)
Under the stars, wandering a dark path (sounds familiar), seeking guidance from the universe. This is exactly how I feel, so I’m glad I pulled this card. Wildwood tells me that I’m at a point where I’m ready to open myself to the universe and all it has to offer me.
3. The first action to take: Queen of Arrows - Swan (Q/S)
This card is difficult. I see… solitude, independence. Wildwood tells me that I need to break bonds. The first action I need to take is to break ties to the past, break free from the things binding me to all these self-inflicted wounds. I can start with a literal cleansing of my home (which I have already begun), removing anything that ties me to my past, and to so much of that pain. This is a task I must accomplish alone (without any help from Darling). I realize that, and I can accept that.
4. The second action to take: King of Arows - Kingfisher (K/S)
Moving forward with confidence and strength. Wildwood tells me to use my strength to push me forward, past the wounds of the past. After I’ve broken the bonds, the next action I need to take is to focus my strength on fully taking control of myself. This means I will now have more strength to fully break old habits, and focus on taking better care of myself in a few key ways.
5. The third action to take: 0 The Wanderer (The Fool)
After I’ve broken myself free from so much, from all these wounds, I will be able to move forward with an open heart. With a bit of blind faith. The next action I need to take is to move forward, realizing that I cannot rely on my past experiences for guidance on how to do so. It’s time to move forward with an open heart (the phrase kept repeating itself to me as I focused on this card).
6. The fourth action to take: Four of Stones - Protection (4/P)
How do I move forward with an open heart? Tarot has all the answers, and it makes me smile. The Four of Stones tells me that once I have come to the point where I can move forward, anew, with an open heart, the next action I need to take is to prepare a place of security and protection for myself! How fitting. Once I’ve removed all of the wounds, self-imposed insecurities, and begun anew, it only makes sense that I should prepare a place of security, so that I don’t get lost again! That I even get this opportunity is amazing, and I feel so grateful.
7. The final action to take: Four of Bows - Celebration (4/W)
How do I begin preparing this special place? Celebration! Spend some time fully enjoying the life that I have, the people that I love, and all of the blessings with which I’ve been bestowed. Taking the time to celebrate how good my life is; a perfect way to ground myself in a new-found security. Holy crappity-crap. Thank you!